


Fireflies

by chouxchan



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, yunjae - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 06:19:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3681213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chouxchan/pseuds/chouxchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Healing after a traumatic experience, Jaejoong finds his way back to life next to Yunho, the love of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fireflies

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: implied forced prostitution (underage!jae), mention of rape, broken!jae

Jaejoong hesitantly stepped out of the house, shielding his eyes from the strong sunlight. He looked around, searching for the only constant, reliable presence in his life: Yunho. He found the tall man crouching in the small field of sweet potatoes, probably getting rid of snails or something. They always came to the crops after it had been raining. Yunho was always the one who did it. Jaejoong couldn't bear to touch the slimy things.

The pebbles on the ground crunched slightly under Jaejoong's bare feet — he'd forgotten shoes again — alerting Yunho of his presence. The other must have heard it, because he quickly looked up at Jaejoong, his facial expression going from asking to worried to smiling in seconds.

"Hey, baby, how's it going?" he asked as he wiped some sweat from his face.

"I woke up and you weren't there", Jaejoong said in a small voice. Even though a part of him knew that Yunho would never leave, not for real, he still didn't like being alone and not know why. Even when he knew where the other was, he wasn't fond of being without company — safety, distraction, kindness — for too long. Waking up and being unable to immediately find Yunho had almost sent him into a full blown panic attack. Almost. Jaejoong had managed to fight it off at the last minute. It had still frightened him, though.

"Sorry, sweetheart, I thought I'd be done before you woke up."

Looking genuinely apologetic, Yunho walked the few steps to where Jaejoong stood and gently wrapped his strong arms around the other, careful as if touching the thinnest glass. Jaejoong didn't hug back. It was ok. Nothing personal. He never did after being upset like he'd been just now. Instead, he gripped tightly onto Yunho's t-shirt, as if he could hold on to him forever like that, willing himself to listen to the tanned man's soothing heart beats until he felt his own heart return to a normal pace.

"Okay?" Yunho asked after a while, when he heard that Jaejoong had calmed down.

"Okay", Jaejoong replied, voice a little stronger than before. It was always the same procedure, the same word asked and repeated. It was reassuring in its simplicity, because it never changed. It provided some stability, something to hold on to, and god only knew how much Jaejoong needed to find his stability again.

That's why they left Seoul and came down here last September, Yunho and Jaejoong, moving south with the migrating birds. The small Jeolla farm was as quiet as it was secluded, just what Jaejoong needed to heal.

\---

When Yunho and Jaejoong met for the first time, that rainy night ten years ago, Jaejoong hadn't been like this. He'd been suffering, yes, but still able to cope. He'd even found a source of joy in Yunho, his first — and only — love. They had been children then, only thirteen, but Jaejoong had already sported eyes too old for his age. The orphanage he'd lived in hadn't been a nice place to begin with, but it only got worse when the owners changed, two years into their unbreakable friendship turned romantic relationship. The new owner had decided to make a profit out of the boys in his care, and had sold their bodies to whoever had wanted them. Jaejoong, being incredibly beautiful, almost pretty, if a boy could be pretty, had become the busiest of the children. It had been hard, but he had fought through it, with the help of Yunho. Yunho, being only a child himself, hadn't been able to do anything but console and love. The second they had both turned eighteen, Yunho had taken Jaejoong away from that place, and they had lived well in their small rooftop apartment, just the two of them in a little bubble.

Until last May.

Jaejoong, healing steadily, learning to forget his past hardships, had been to the night market when he ran into the orphanage owner. The drunk man had attacked Jaejoong, and raped him so brutally that he would have bled to death in that alleyway, had he not been able to call Yunho before passing out.

The next thing he knew, he was in a hospital bed, traumatised and unable to lead a normal life. The doctors had called it PTSD, and after a few months of unsuccessful therapy, the doctors had suggested that they leave Seoul for a while, since the very city seemed to function as a trigger for Jaejoong.

The very next day, Yunho had given the keys to the apartment to his sister for safekeeping, got his fragile boyfriend into the car and driven down here, to the small farm his grandfather had left him in his will.

\---

"Do you want to see what I was doing?" Yunho asked in an attempt to distract Jaejoong from the upsetting emotions and thoughts.

"If it involves snails, no thank you", Jaejoong said, scrunching his nose up in disgust. Yunho couldn't help but smile. All glimpses of the old — real — Jaejoong, no matter how small, gave him hope.

"I can promise you, it has nothing to do with snails", he chuckled, gently leading Jaejoong by the hand towards the potato field.

"What is it, then?" Jaejoong asked, crouching down next to Yunho in the same place as before.

Instead of answering, Yunho caught something — Jaejoong couldn't see what — and held it in his cupped hands.

"Look", he said, bringing his hands closer to Jaejoong's face and moving his thumbs so that the other could see.

At first, Jaejoong could see nothing in the darkness, but then, a point of light appeared.

"A firefly", Jaejoong half-whispered, admiration in his voice. Jaejoong had always loved fireflies, but due to living his entire life in the city, he had never seen one in real life. Yunho smiled. He'd noticed the pupae a couple of days ago, and checked them every day to find a firefly for Jaejoong. Today, they had finally hatched, and while they wouldn't be able to see them in their full splendour until the night came, Yunho knew that even one glowing bug would cheer his love up immensely.

"Do you like it?" Yunho asked, knowing the answer.

Jaejoong nodded, smiling for the first time in days, warming Yunho's heart. Jaejoong was the love of his life, and the sooner he became happy again, the better.

Suddenly, Jaejoong's stomach growled, and Yunho, only now noticing that Jaejoong was still in his pyjamas, suggested that they go in and have lunch (or, in Jaejoong's case, breakfast).

\---

\---

The following few weeks were happy ones, Jaejoong feeling better than in a long time. It was as if his mood improved with the spring weather. In very rare moments, it was just as if they were back in their bubble on the rooftop, as if nothing had happened. Jaejoong even kissed Yunho once, quickly, on the cheek. That hadn't happened since the assault. Hugging and cuddling was okay again, but that had been it.

\---

As May approached, Yunho saw Jaejoong weaken once again, as the date of last year's assault came nearer. The last three weeks before the twenty-second, Jaejoong could no longer handle Yunho's touch, or answer 'okay' to the question. The days between the fourteenth and the twenty-second had Jaejoong waking up too early, thinking too much, wiping away the last tears by the time Yunho opened his eyes.

On the day in question, Yunho stood in the kitchen, making breakfast that Jaejoong knew he wouldn't be able to keep down. He would try, for Yunho's sake, but he couldn't promise anything. Jaejoong washed up and put on some comfortable jeans and an oversized knitted sweater. He ran his hand through his black, fairly short hair, and left the bedroom. As he walked across the living room, all the memories came crashing down like a tidal wave, threatening to drown him. His head threatened to explode, and he gripped it in pain. 

_ Save me. Save me, Yunho-yah _ , he pleaded in his mind. He must have said the words out loud, because he soon felt himself being scooped up into said man's strong arms and carried bridal style to the sofa. Holding on to Yunho like his only life line on a stormy sea, Jaejoong felt the other man's safe arms around him, felt Yunho's beautiful hands rubbing circles on his back, heard soothing words being almost desperately whispered into his ear, and when the fear and pain of the memories combined with the relief of having Yunho by his side made him cry, he felt the other's tears wet his hair.

They sat in the same position for almost two hours, Yunho gently cradling Jaejoong in his arms and talking about happy things and beautiful memories that the shorter man could focus on.

\---

That night, Yunho took Jaejoong out to a small river nearby, and they sat there, watching the fireflies and the stars, talking only about good things. Especially good things that would come in their future.

"And when you open your flower shop, what kind of flowers will you sell?" Yunho asked.

"Flowers that make people happy. Colourful, fragrant, nostalgic flowers, and I'll make pretty bouquets that people will give to the ones they love."

"And what flower will you give me?" Yunho asked with a cheeky tone that Jaejoong loved.

"A bouquet. Primrose, deep pink roses and orange blossoms."

"That's a random combination", Yunho said. "Does it have a special meaning?"

Jaejoong nodded, suddenly shy. He hadn't been in a romantic mood for such a long time.

"What, then?"

"The pink roses say 'thank you for being in my life', the primrose says 'can't live without you', and the orange blossoms mean eternal love", Jaejoong mumbled into his knees, which he'd pulled up to his chin. The lack of reply made Jaejoong look at Yunho, only to find him fighting back tears of happiness.

"I love you so much, Jae", the taller man said, hugging the love of his life, daring to kiss his neck.

"I love you more", Jaejoong answered, pulling back slightly to look the other man in the eyes. Finding whatever he was searching for (and already knew was there), Jaejoong smiled through beginning tears of happiness, as he leaned in to taste Yunho's soft, loving lips for the first time in a year. When Yunho had stopped being surprised and started to kiss him back, gently and carefully, Jaejoong knew he'd be okay.

Everything would be fine.


End file.
